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27 Mar

The 10 ages of film

  1. Wow, you mean this plastic roll is already coated with Albumen! Way to go. Oops the house has caught fire…
  2. OK, pour turn on the lights and pour that liquid in and tap it on the workbench. Now hang it from a clothes peg and let it accumulate lots of dust, so you can spend 3 hours spotting every print.
  3. Hey, if I pull this bit off I can watch the picture develop in front of my eyes. Theres goop all over my fingers and the front of my shirt and the roller won’t go back in.
  4. Nah, those digital cameras will never have enough pixels, looks like a crap video picture, pass me the Velvia.
  5. On the other hand this EOS 10D is quite good, how to I upsize this slightly grey fuzzy looking image so its big enough to submit to a stock library. Half an hour later its been sharpened to f!@k and re-colourised and almost looks usable… Great.
  6. I think my medium format back is sharper than 5×4 so go and stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
  7. Digital is so passe, I’ve gone back to film, bought an old Hassy (they can be had for pennies on Ebay).
  8. Wheres my film (sob). At least there are fifteen outdated boxes crammed in at the back of the fridge covered in solidified yoghurt residue.
  9. Ah well, 65 megapixels will have to do
  10. Someone put a bloody video camera inside my camera. I’m getting confused.

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This entry was posted on Friday, March 27th, 2009 at 7:21 am and is filed under Unnatural philosophy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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